When Senior Living Is the Best Move You’ve Ever Made – Inspiration From One of Our Newest Residents

Sometimes the unexpected sends us reeling, but sometimes it serves to set wheels in motion for something better than we could ever have imagined. When there is a health diagnosis, for example, after the shock, fear strikes. We tend to think of limitations, we fear.  Life is changing and nothing will be the same. We fear we are alone. Then suddenly it comes that we have family; we’re not alone, maybe just living far away. Then suddenly we see we have choices!  

This is exactly what happened to Alyce Clarke, who knows how to keep moving—literally, and make changes that may be planned or suddenly necessary. It’s been “the story of her life” and it’s not only fascinating but totally inspirational. Alyce had to make two extremely important choices this summer: whether to accept a treatment plan that would alter her lifestyle dramatically and whether to relocate so she could be near her daughter Dianna Fleming and her family who live in Chesterton. By the end of July, she and her beloved pet dog JJ, with much assistance from Dianna, were settled in her new apartment at Residences at Coffee Creek.  Among many other reasons, they knew they could celebrate the holidays together this year if Alyce was here. 

So much was new to Alyce. She had always lived what she described as “a huge life” but in the months before her decision to relocate, she had fallen four times due to her condition and previously she had broken each hip. Although she had invested in rehabbing her beautiful home in Tennessee she says she realized she was becoming a danger to herself.  And she had no one to call for help except a sister- in- law.  She needed her daughter, Dianna. 

At the moment of decision-making comes the real terror—how do I do this, where am I going, I have so many beautiful things, how will I ever be able to go from a big beautiful home to a tiny apartment? What about my health care needs? How will I find a doctor? I don’t know where to start with this— 

That’s when Dianna took the lead, acting on her mother’s behalf, honoring her needs and preferences, which isn’t always easily accomplished when you are on deadline and 8 hours away.  Alyce sold her home rather immediately, had only the usual 30 days to vacate, and was therefore in an urgent situation.  

When Dianna came to tour Residences at Coffee Creek, she had her list of Alyce’s preferences and must-haves. She didn’t have time to waste, she was on a mission. Recognizing her needs for information and coordination of resources, staff focused on the details she needed to communicate with Alyce. Dianna, who was traveling back and forth to help Alyce decide what to pack or sell, took up the offer for a virtual tour with Alyce so she could see for herself.  Obviously a stress-filled time, Dianna says all she could think about was how to get from Point A to Point B, how to organize leaving and transitioning to senior living for her mother, and worrying if Alyce would be happy with the move.  

But it wasn’t really all Dianna had to think about. She had undergone major surgery herself earlier in the year, her son had graduated and was entering the Naval Academy  (inspired by his grandfather Bill) which they had been working on for 5 years, about the time Alyce was due to move into her new apartment. Another high school age son had severely injured his knee requiring surgery. She also needed all the help and support she could get to expedite this move and staff was prepared to provide it. 

Point B ultimately became a balcony apartment at Residences at Coffee Creek, where Alyce could sit outdoors and enjoy the beautiful Watershed view with her constant companion and pet dog JJ. “In six weeks, we got it done,” exclaims Dianna, looking back.  They both are extremely appreciative of the support from staff at Residences at Coffee Creek. “My mother wanted to have as much of the ambiance of her former home as possible in the apartment which was going to be a major change for her. The Maintenance Director Terry had installed the ceiling fans she wanted, the drapery rods, the television, and helped with moving and assembling her new bed and furniture,” notes Dianna. “I’m in my own surroundings, with my own things,” says Alyce.  Her apartment is, indeed, beautifully furnished, and a comfort to her. She could not believe she was able to keep so many cherished furnishings in the single bedroom apartment. Both she and Dianna had carefully reviewed its impressive square footage. 

Most importantly for both is the peace of mind. “I am so relieved that my mother is here. I couldn’t keep going back and forth on the 8-hour drive to see about her when she needed help. Now she has all the medical support she needs, right down the hall!” exclaims Dianna.  Alyce shares that relief and enthusiasm. “Here, I’m monitored, I can get help immediately. I feel more secure, more empowered. I’m not embarrassed to ask for help. I’ve got good help, good hospice workers for palliative care, there’s therapy here, and Dianna and her family ‘have my back’.”  

Isolation was another crucial impetus for the decision to move into senior living.  Alyce and JJ bring sunshine to other residents when they visit the common areas and it’s time for JJ’s walk outdoors.  Alyce is always “looking good” wherever she goes and has such a pleasant demeanor. Her “huge and amazing life” has positioned her well for this next chapter. There are many ways to participate in interests on a daily basis.  

Alyce Clark And daughter Dianna Fleming enjoying the balcony apartment Alyce shares with her pet dog JJ

Inspiration from Family and Friends Is Key to Unlocking Potential for New Beginnings 

Making the decision of a lifetime, however good it may become, requires encouragement to take one beyond the shadows of doubt.  This is where sharing an experience or life story offers so much. Alyce has a unique and out-of-the-ordinary story; a relatable story for any season of life, but especially for seniors wondering what should I do next?  

Alyce was originally from Hickman, Kentucky, then Memphis, Tennessee where she met her beloved husband Bill. “We were nearing our 50th anniversary when he passed in 2012, and he was the light of my life,” explains Alyce. “We met in 1963 in Memphis when he was a Marine; we dated three months and then married.” Bill’s parents were both pharmacists. They sent him to St. John’s Military Academy in Wisconsin and from there he joined the Marines. Bill had served in Vietnam for a year—she tells the story of how a bomb destroyed his luggage! 

 After the service Bill’s career shifted as he joined Boeing Aircraft Martin Marietta Division, starting jet projects and moving every five years.  Bill worked on many important projects for space and guided missile assignments, and nuclear aircraft. They lived in North Carolina, Michigan, then Corpus Christi, Texas, Kentucky and St. Louis, Missouri. Together, Alyce counts 26 times they had moved!   

Their first daughter, Janine, was born in North Carolina while at the Marine Corps Air Station. Sadly, they lost a second child, John, to a brain tumor when he was eleven years old. Dianna was raised in Ofallon, near St. Louis. 

“Bill was a real inspiration to me,” says Alyce. “He never quit. He’d be figuring things out, making things work—but he never wanted to use a computer,” she laughs. He loved old cars, restored a ’39 Chevy, a Jaguar and he loved boats. Every weekend for 20 years he had the boat on the Mississippi River.  He created Clarke Automotives and owned three service stations.  

Alyce was also quite the Renaissance Woman. She had many opportunities to learn in many different fields. She knows banking and accounting. She’s worked in real estate and enjoyed creating open houses and tours and planning parties. She’s worked in healthcare for a Pediatrician and she was once a grocery cashier. But she recalls the most exciting was serving as Administrative Secretary to the Executive Director of South Texas Public Broadcasting for five years while in Corpus Christi. 

Alyce also recalls that her mother lived in constant pain due to many health concerns, while raising six children, basically on her own as her father worked on dredge barges that required him to be away from home quite frequently. She did not appreciate at the time her mother’s efforts. Alyce, who now understands and experiences constant pain, declares she is not going to succumb, not going to give in, and reminds herself and others that we can “always look on the bright side.” Alyce walks the talk; she’s always smiling and upbeat. 

Of her current condition and decision for palliative care rather than intense treatment, Alyce admits it took “alot of strength and a deep breath to just do it.” She is most pleased with her decision to move closer to Dianna and to engage in senior living at Residences at Coffee Creek. She offers sound advice for others considering it might be time for a change, to take life easier.  

“You have to absolutely keep your heart and mind open to accept enormous change. Be patient, be humble and understanding of others,” she advises. She also had to take in consideration that she was leaving some members of her family, siblings, behind when she made the move to be closer to Dianna and her family. “ This is the last move of my life” according to Alyce. The staff and new friends at Residents at Coffee Creek have joined Dianna and her family to ensure that it’s going to be the very best! 

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